Rain
by dream-eater-is-hungry
Summary: Who would have ever thought that the rain would bring a certain ametyst eyed monk and his charge into a silent yet mutual understanding? shounen-ai SanzoxGoku


Silent Understanding

By: dreameaterishungry

Rain. It is said that when it rains, angels are weeping for mankind is falling into the darkness of sin. It is also said that, God had send forth the rain to cleanse the world. But for a certain blonde man, the rain is only a bringer of his sadness, a bitter reminder of his most painful loss.  
  
With each raindrop that falls on to the muddy earth, the inescapable void in his heart grows and grows. But the presence of such void always goes by unnoticed by his companions. Or so he thought.  
  
A sigh escaped his lips. It had been a long time now, since that incident that changed his entire life. And yet, Sanzo found it difficult, no, impossible to let it go.  
  
Sanzo caught his faint reflection on the glass window. Yes, this is who he is now. Arrogant, conceited, cold-hearted, all of which is a façade that cannot be broken. A façade to hide the void, the sadness, the emptiness in his heart, those which he considers his most fatal weaknesses.

* * *

Goku always wondered why on rainy nights such as tonight, his sun would not shine as brightly as any other day. Or why, his keeper, would never be haunted by sleep. These questions always lingered in his mind. But he never bothered to ask Sanzo, even when his curiosity is always pressing him to. No, he believed that he should let Sanzo have his own personal space, his own secrets, which he would be willing to tell him when the time is right.  
  
But his curiosity can no longer be quelled. And so is his patience. Doesn't Sanzo trust him yet with the truth? Doesn't he think I should know by now? After all, don't I have the right to know?  
  
As these thoughts circle him mind, he did not notice that Gojyo had already been leaning over and peeking at his hand until felt the long red locks of hair tickling his fingers.  
  
"Hey! No cheating!" Goku exclaimed, "that's unfair."  
  
"I can't help it, baka saru," Gojyo countered, giving him a lopsided grin, "you were staring out to space, right Hakkai?  
  
Goku's face turned red in embarrassment. Goku and Gojyo were in the middle of playing gin when someone had rapped on the door and Hakkai's face popped in, asking them if he could stay with them for a while. It turns out Sanzo was in his melancholic moods again and Hakkai wanted to give him some personal space. At the mention of Sanzo, Goku's thoughts began to drift to his keeper.  
  
"Indeed," Hakkai replied, chuckling, "we never seen you think so seriously like that."  
  
'Because I have never really had anything serious to think about unless it concerns Sanzo...' he answered mentally. 'Sanzo... Will you ever trust me enough to tell me what's wrong?'  
  
"Maybe that's because the saru has a brain as small as a peanut that whenever he would think deeply, his head would hurt," Gojyo teased.  
  
But Goku didn't reply. His companions doubted that he even heard what Gojyo said. Instead, the young youkai wore a frown that didn't seem to suit him.  
  
The two older men exchanged glances. This was serious. Goku would never let Gojyo insult him without throwing back a retort. Something was obviously bothering Goku.  
  
"Goku? Is something wrong?" Hakkai asked him, his face full of worry. "Yeah, this is not like you..." Gojyo added, his voice grave.  
  
"It's nothing..." Goku mumbled.  
  
Goku's answer didn't seem to satisfy the older men. They knew something was obviously wrong but they didn't press for more questions. They knew that Goku would eventually tell them himself, given the time.  
  
There was silence and only the shuffling of cards and the incessant sound of the rain outside can be audibly heard. And soon, the silence around them formed a deep trance that none of them seemed to notice.  
  
"Ne, Hakkai?" Goku whispered, breaking the silence, "what's wrong with Sanzo? He always seemed depressed during rainy nights such as these. What's bothering him?"  
  
Hakkai sighed and glanced at Gojyo as if to ask: "should we tell him?" Gojyo merely nodded. "Well, I guess since you were locked up in Mt. Gogyo at that time, you didn't hear about it," Hakkai explained hesitantly, "you see, one rainy night, such as tonight, many years ago, Komyou Sanzo, our Sanzo's mentor was murdered by youkai. And what's worse is that, Sanzo was there when his master died. He saw Komyou Sanzo die right in front of him and he wasn't able to do anything to save him."  
  
"And every rainy night, Sanzo would always recall that night many years ago," Gojyo continued, "that's why he always acts so bitchy during these nights..."  
  
Goku was again in deep thought. 'So that's why...' he contemplated. He discarded a card from his hand, and with that, he stood up and headed towards the door.  
  
Both Hakkai and Gojyo looked at him in question.  
  
"Hey saru!" Gojyo called, "we're not yet done yet!"  
  
Goku merely looked back at them and flashed them his hand, a Jack, a Queen and a King of spades, and a set of four aces. "Gin"

* * *

Rain. He hated the rain. People said that, if you stay under the rain, it would wash away all your sadness and problems away. Yeah right. It's nothing but foolishness, a mere belief people cling on; a stupid one at that. But that is only a belief, superstition. He knows better that nothing could wash away his sadness, nothing.  
  
Sanzo's was so deep in thought that he did not hear the doorknob turn, or the floorboards creak under the weight of a certain golden-eyed boy. Only did he recognize the presence of the boy when he felt a hand rest on his should. Sanzo's body immediately tensed up at the foreign touch. But he relaxed when he looked back and saw who it was. His amethyst met golden orbs.  
  
'Goku,' he realized.  
  
Sanzo was about to brush the hand away but he found that he couldn't. A part of him ached for the comfort but his cold façade and his pride did not allow it. And now that he was offered a piece of solace, he didn't want to let go of it just yet.  
  
'It's okay, Sanzo. You're not alone. I'll always be here for you whenever you'll need me.'  
  
No spoken words were exchanged between them, but Sanzo understood what Goku was trying to tell him perfectly.

* * *

A/N: It was raining outside... and well... you get the point... R & R please... 


End file.
